Saturday 2nd August 2008

Long week - back from the family holiday last weekend, and back to work Monday - only to get really rather sick on Wednesday. I can only assume I picked up a bug down south!
Well - the holiday. We went to this rather lovely little cottage just outside of Wareham, in Dorset - Isolation Cottage it was called, which was a originally the isolation ward of the local hospital. The National Trust bought them, tore them down and re-built them - just as well, as it had formerly been where the smallpox patients had stayed. And, no, it wasn't smallpox!!! We had wonderful weather, and we think Mum enjoyed herself - it's just a bit difficult to tell.

Anyhow as a result of her failing health, we've decided to look for a nursing home for her. It's very distressing, but at least the holiday allowed us all to see how increasingly necessary this has become. We're going to see the first on the list on Tuesday - without going in to any details here, Tuesday is my birthday. I think given the circumstances, it promises to be one I'm not likely to forget for a while!
Dementia is the most terrible of diseases. It takes everything away from the victim, all shreds of dignity, even personality really. For instance, Mum quite enjoys watching a programme on tv called MonkeyWorld (or something like that, I've never seen it, so I couldn't actually say.) It turned out that the place that this is made was near to Wareham, so we took her. It was quite an adventure, Mum, me, Martin and Nick - we'd arranged it so that Jo & Ken got a day off - we packed up the wheelchair and off we went. Admittedly, we should have thought a bit more carefully that the monkeys might not be at their most active in the middle of the day! However, we did push her round, and looked - the monkeys are all rescued from all over the world, mostly from labs, and they have the most wonderful enclosures and houses. Some of the houses have walkways through them so you could see them inside their shelters - which is where a lot of them had gone too! A good few of them were enjoying having a good look at us. It must be rather confusing for them, sitting there and watching this endless parade passing by. There was a large orangutan who definitely gave me the impression this had all been organised for his benefit!
Thing is it was hard to know how much of it Mum had actually taken in. When we got home she didn't seem to have any memory at all of having been there, and whilst she did seem to enjoy herself whilst she was there, I'm pretty sure she probably doesn't even remember having been away for the week now.
I can remember going to look at nursing homes when Dad was ill, and they were thinking of discharging him from the hospital to a nursing home. I have to say it was one of the more distressing experiences of my life - some of them are just dreadful. But like all in life, some of them are really good too, packed full of good staff, who take an interest in their patients. The one we're going to look at is new, which I think is a positive thing. Still we'll see.