Weds 14th January 2009

I'm trying to get my head round this whole 2009 thing. It somehow seems like I shouldn't actually be alive in a year thus dated, but here I am... I keep expecting someone to deliver my silver catsuit and tell me this is what I should be wearing from now on, but given the current state of the old bod, it's probably just as well they're not compulsory. As it is, I'm very happy in my old jeans and sloppy jumper!
So what else is new with me? Facebook actually, I finally got round to using this properly, and seem to have collected a few friends and have just about got my head around how you go about doing things - I think. I'm still trying to work out how to make things like new photo's appear on my 'wall' - it's all very confusing. If you're my age that is.
So I thought it's about time I told you what I'm reading right now. At this particular point of time, I'm sort of getting over my first flush of falling in love with Andrea Camilleri's Inspector Montalbano, i.e., I'm waiting for the next box of books to turn up from ye old Amazone. Have you ever noticed how long it takes some boxes to get to you? I feel like I've been waiting forever for these to turn up. Anyhow in the meantime I'm making do by reading Little Dorrit - which I'm finding curiously exciting. No, seriously. I pick it up and start reading and find myself unable to put it down. I couldn't say in what way it differs from the tv, but perhaps it's the depth of characterisation that you necessarily don't get by the devil screen, or it could be that for the first time I'm actually getting a grip on where Rigaud appeared from - I missed the first episode on the goggle box - but I feel like I understand it much better. Since - ok, confession here, this is the first Dickens I've ever actually read, I do feel like I should read more. This has got to be a good thing. Anyhow waiting to be read is (are) Philip Tetbury's Expert Political Judgment. I heard him on the radio, and had to get the book - it's one of those things that makes you feel as if it will revolutionise the way you think about judgment. The sort of judgment that politicians come out with - "This is the end of recession" type judgment, "Sadam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction" type of judgment. I find myself buying this sort of thing from time to time, and reading them feeling that they're going to change the way that I think, and I have to say, 9 times out of 10, being deeply disappointed. However, we'll see.
Anyhow also on the waiting list is Michael Holroyds' Strange Eventful History, the dramatic lives of Ellen Terry and Henry Irving. I'm not 100% sure about this, since it turned up, I've been sort of eyeing it with what I might describe as a wary eye - did I actually buy this? Do I really want to read this? What on earth came over me? That sort of thing. We'll see. It might turn out to be riveting. On the other hand, I find myself strangely disconcerted by the cover which is all navy blue and silver stars. Intersecting circles - no doubt deeply appropriate, in fact I'd go so far as to say absolutely appropriate, but somehow disconcerting at the same time. Predictably disconcerting? Now there's an interesting thought....

Sunday January 4th

It's been a good holiday - went really very well. Then it was back home, and back to work - being as the Helpline works 365 days of the year, I ended up doing the night shifts on Weds, Thurs and Friday - I'm not really into New Year, so I'm quite happy to work them. It was certainly busy enough!
So there's this whole New Year thing. I actually agree wholeheartedly that this setting of unrealistic goals - resolutions, is setting yourself up for failure, and I find it hard to believe that resolving to do something at a particular time of year makes it any easier to achieve. I believe you do things when you feel that the time is right, and your determination is spurred on by the realisation that something needs to be changed. I.E, you start a diet because you can't get into a favourite piece of clothing, or you've stepped on the scales to find your weight has unexpectedly increased. It horrifies you, and that sense of shock contributes towards your determination to achieve the weight loss. You don't say to yourself, oh I'll wait for January the 1st and then I'll start dieting!
Anyhow, the reason for all this musing on resolutions and determination is because I have some pretty huge changes planned for this year, and it's nothing to do with loosing weight. My mother's death has enabled me to make some changes, to hopefully go back to uni and perhaps even get that PhD that I've always sort of had in the back of my mind. It's quite a long road to be setting out on, because I'll need to start off with something that's going to bring my degree up to date! I have a sense of freedom about this, because essentially I can choose where I go to - but at the same time I have to choose wisely because I can't simply afford to make a wrong choice. I've sort of decided that this year will be spent in choosing where to go, moving, getting myself onto the right course to update my qualifications - I've got nine months to do this in, but of course, way less than that because I have to apply etc. I've sort of made my decision, only I have to finalise it - have to start that application process, and get accepted for one thing. So watch this space, there's lots of changes coming!