Wednesday 27th February

Well, raced out of work today, complete with shopping list - top of it - Mother's Day gift. Ended up in Thornton's, where I bought her a nice box of fragrant jellies, and a large box of what appear to be miniature chocolate bars, from single estate (country?) producers. I thought she'd maybe enjoy the mini bar effect, I doubt the taste of the stuff will cross her mind! Anyhow I'm doing night shifts this weekend, so I'm not going to make it over there till Monday, but it's the thought that counts as they say. Needless to say it was what, seven o'clock this evening by the time I remembered I hadn't bought a card. Still I've got to go to the Post Office tomorrow, so I can stop off at a card shop then.
Well I was - I am, still thinking about what I was writing about below. In the spirit of this, I'd like to tell you about an experience I had the other day. Those of you who've read this blog over the past few months will have noticed a certain motif creeping in at points where I'm mentioning the Post Office in the Galleries in Bristol? Yes, they've this irritating new system in there, where you have to take a ticket rather than queue for the next available counter. No one knows where they are with this - half of the people disappear before their number comes up, so the poor old counter assistants are all "646?", enquiring glance, "646 please." Rapid eye movement, accompanied by swift avoidance of those seeking to catch an eye, and butt in ahead of their turn. Despairing sigh. "647". And so on. If you're lucky, at that point up crops the woman with 50 small packets in a large bag, or the oap nipping in to pick up 3 weeks worth of pension. Why is it never the person seeking to send a simple letter ahead of me? (Yes, I know, that's automated, and they simply don't need to queue...)
Anyhow I digress. Earlier this week, I went in to post some packets (yes I'm the woman with the large bag full of tiny packets...) anyhow, I hate this system. And lo and behold, there was a large group of rather self-important looking individuals standing there as one lectured waving his hand at the post office. I nipped over to the poor sod who has to stand and explain to the newcomers what's going on here, and said "Are they responsible for this?" "Yes," she says, clearly not wishing to enquire further because she's seen the glint in my eyes. "Right." I said, the grind of the teeth probably giving away way too much.
Essentially at that point I marched straight up to them, and gave them what I best describe as 'What for.' At some point I remember some hapless man in a suit suggesting to me that this was a 'trial post office', to which I remember replying, "Excellent. Get it changed back pronto!" Suffice to say I left them with no doubt as to how much I dislike this idiotic system, before swiftly ducking away and back into the post office so that I could get my business done without missing my turn. They had gone by the time I got out, no doubt swiftly to avoid my exit - but if they thought I'd be out of there swiftly, they're living in cloud cuckoo land, because it took me at least another 25 minutes - all to post two packets.
Anyhow I didn't feel particularly proud of myself. I said my piece, but I was extremely nervy about interrupting a whole bunch of them and of course I didn't say everything I could have said about it. I'm a bit cross that I didn't speak more slowly, and let them get in their interruptions, because there isn't an objection they could raise that I couldn't refute. What irritates me most about the whole damn thing is that what I said won't make the blindest bit of difference. It never does. Companies don't pay attention to their customers, it's all about cost per head, and all that guff. Nothing will change. It never does. But at least I did say my piece.

Sunday 24th February

 

I was browsing the web the other day, and I came across an old entry in someone's blog where they essentially announced they were closing down, or changing their blog - it was a bit hard to decipher exactly what their intention was. The reason for this was because of the impact blogging was having on the real life of the blogger. They felt constrained by the potential effects of what they were writing - by being open, totally open, with his or her opinions, within what is an awfully public forum.

Boy did I understand that! When I started blogging, I was surrounded by people saying "Aren't you brave?" which I couldn't really understand. Well I didn't understand it until I sat down at the computer, then suddenly I'm weighing up other people's opinions on what I'm about to write. Not just friends, but my family, how can you possibly talk about private events?  You yourself may not object, but as only one half of the given event, surely you have to respect the other person's feelings!  You have to at least think about it!

Yet - and this is where it almost hurts. Like everyone else, I'm involved in normal everyday interactions, vivid intense experiences, that would make this blog so much more interesting to read. And I'd like it to be interesting, you know?

I remember reading - or hearing - some talking head spout off about how blogging was ruining the world. (Well perhaps not quite ruining the world, but to hear him, you'd have thought it was nothing less than...) I thought immediately, I know what's going on here, this is someone who's upset that blogging frees up people like me to write and yes, publish, our thoughts and feelings about absolutely anything at all, instead of restraining me to be a consumer of the outpourings belonging to the sanctioned intelligentsia.  I think what I found most difficult of all about what he was saying was that I actually understood his point of view,  My writing is restrained and constrained by fear - fear of other people's opinions, of hurting the people who read this, who for the most part are the aforementioned friends and family. I wouldn't willingly hurt anyone for all the world.

So here I am, still thinking all this through. I do so much want to be writing about real life, with a bit more oomph than I currently do, I want to blog without fear. I'd like these blogs to be a bit more like the letters I write to my friends, a bit more unexpurgated! How do I do that without actually crossing the line and revealing the personal private events in life?  Any suggestions gratefully received!

I suppose the least I can say is that at least I'm thinking about it. To be conscious is part of being alive, and I feel that through internal dilemmas such as this, I live.  I reflect. It's so much way better than being silent, unspoken and unheard.  What of course it doesn't answer is whether my internal (and that could be  interchangeable with interminable) dialogue has any validity. I can remember having a long chat one afternoon in Glasgow, with an old friend of mine, John, about art. For those of you who don't know I dabble. I do it enough to know in my own mind I'm no good, hell I can sketch a bit, and I enjoy it, and that's why I do it, because I enjoy it. John's different, he's done a history of art degree, and is a good critic of art. (I'm not sure he dabbles though, so he's quite good at seeing the other side of this coin!) but if I remember rightly, he was arguing that what I do is art. You don't have to hang anything in galleries, you don't have to sell stuff for money, you have to have an internal sensibility that seeks expression in the production of material.  Using that argument, what I blog is every bit as good as anything a talking head produces, and of course they don't like that (or at least some of them don't.) It puts us on an equal footing. My opinion has the same validity as anyone writing in say a Sunday newspaper. But I ain't that stupid, I'm well aware that what I write isn't as stylish, it doesn't quite deserve to be read with the same demand that one reads it - if you get what I mean. If it did, of course I'd be writing in a Sunday newspaper.  Perhaps what I'm really writing here is that old paraphrase, I blog therefore I am? 

Happily I'm not quite so sad!

Saturday 23rd February

Lord, but for a day off, I've been really quite busy. All the usual stuff - washing, tidying - ha, don't seem to do much of that, but what the heck, today I went round picking stuff up. It's not my favourite occupation, but if you don't do it, you suffer. And of course, needless to say, I'd just made dinner, and came back into the living room to sit down and eat when I switched the light on and pop, there goes the bulb. So I had one of my least favourite tasks in the world, change the light bulb.
I don't know about you, but the only steps I have for this are about two steps too short. I have to climb up, stretch up full length, and reach above my head to grasp the bulb and release it, go back down the steps and come back up with the new one. I know exactly how stupid a situation this is - all the more so since I suffer from more than a touch of vertigo, but they're the only steps I've got, and it's a question of yes, I know I should buy new one's but it's an expensive thing to do for really not much use. (They aren't really my steps either, they're the landlords, for the use of the house.) It's one of those old Victorian houses, with very high ceilings. Anyhow, I did make it up and down there with no ill effect. And I suppose there's an argument that because I know it's not a good thing to be doing, that I'm extra careful when I do it. A care that I might not take if the steps were longer and more secure. I also have this feeling that if they did start to wobble, I'm not that far off the ground, and I could leap clear with a single bound, which I wouldn't be able to if I was further up on a longer ladder.
Anyway, I'm doing well with my allotted weekend task of making more bagcharms for the shop. I've had a very good month, and I need to re-stock a bit, so I've been busy making new charms - here are a few photo's.

These are only three of them - left to right they're a pink and plum crackleglass bagcharm, a purple and clear crackleglass bagcharm, and a peach and sage green facetted glass bagcharm. They'll all be going on sale over the next week or so, in my Ebay shop.

So what else have I been up to? I had a bit of run-in with one of the customer service staff at Sainsbury's. I felt quite cross about it - I had bought two jars of coffee that I thought were on a special offer of two for £6.00, but they charged me over £10.00 for them. So I complained at the customer service desk, in a way that I thought was polite and friendly. And we'd set off to look at the shelf in all amity I had felt - turned out when we got there, that they'd stuck a whacking great tray of extra large jars in the middle of the two sizes of jar included in the offer. She was fine about letting me change my big jar for another of the smaller ones, but didn't seem to like it when I suggested that this had been done deliberately so people would pick up the larger jar by accident, and spend more money than they intended to. Frankly I do think that that's what they'd done, and I absolutely accept that this wasn't done by the woman I was speaking to. I made a point of saying I know this isn't anything to do with you, but nevertheless, she still got the hump. Essentially it's cheating though, the management of the store felt that because people don't check their receipts until they get home, that people won't notice, either that, or they'll simply accept it as being something they can't do anything about. But you can, and you can complain about it, God knows the supermarkets are expensive enough right now without being conned into spending more money than you want to because they've shelved stuff in a tricksy manner to con you into thinking everything on the shelf is included in the offer. Stand up for your right to pay what you choose to!

Mind you, my customer service best of the week - if I did such a thing, which I don't would go to Amazon this week. They did what they promised, and got my new books to me by the time they promised. It's an expensive thing to do, but I was out of stuff to read - new books that is, and I fancied a couple of books that I'd seen, so I ordered them on Friday, and yes, they turned up about half past nine this morning. Excellent work. And talking of the books, I'm going back to them - haven't been able to put the first one down. It's Christopher Hibberts biography of Queen Victoria, I bought it with his biography of Edward VII too. Do you know, I've never read a biography of Edward? I was quite shocked to discover that, although admittedly he's been a secondary character in a fairly large number of books that I have read! Anyhow, enough for now, I'm off to finish off the washing up and get back to the books.

Thursday 20th February.

I had a very bad, bad day foodwise yesterday, slapped wrist for me... It was very cold (this is my excuse anyhow) and coming home from work was hell - it was peak rush hour (which I normally avoid like the plague), but I was late leaving work - only by a couple of minutes, but boy do those couple of minutes seem to make all the difference. Anyhow I had to go to the post office - yep, more parcels for posting, and it was packed, and our new look post office in the Galleries - yes, if you manage this place, I'm talking straight at YOU - has this vile, vile new system, which obliterates queueing, you can't tell how long you're going to have to wait, it's take a ticket and hope. People waste time shuffling around, getting up off their banquette - banquette seating for Gods' sake, in a POST OFFICE - looking for the desk that their number has been called at - by this point, they've missed their turn, and will and do butt in at the next change of number. It takes three times as long to post a flipping packet than it used to, when people queued nicely and politely, with no trouble and were there to walk smartly to the free counter and get their business done. Oh get me off my hobby horse for heaven's sake, normally I go to the sub post office in Sandy Park Road, where sanity still prevails and people queue, but last night I thought, I've got to go buy something for dinner, I'll have to go to the Galleries.
So, after my 3/4 hour wait (and I kid you not, I counted ever single minute) I dash into Tesco's in town. It's already getting late, the dusk is falling, and the place is full of people just like me. They want something for dinner, but they don't know exactly what. So I bought a packet of sausage, originally thinking I'll cassarole them in tomato soup - it's not ideal food, but I like it, but of course then something must have happened on the motorway, because it took an hour - an entire hour, to crawl the mile or so from the centre of town to Temple Meads. At that point, not unlike a miricle, the roads just cleared. You'd have thought it was a Sunday outside the flat - virtually no traffic at all. Quite extraordinary.
So by the time I got home I was a good hour and a half later than I would normally be. I think that's quite important, because in that time I would normally have been sitting down with a cup of tea, and watching Neighbours. Ok, yes this is another daggy thing to do, but it's my life, and I quite like Neighbours. Instead, I'd been sitting on an overcrowded bus, travelling at about 3 inches every ten minutes, and a sort of madness came over me as I got in. Before I knew where I was, the frying pan was out, and I was salivating at the thought of sausage and egg for Supper!!!! I couldn't resist, it was like being in the grip of some manic compulsion - I'm not even that keen on fried sausages unless they're destined for two slices of bread! And fried egg is again, one of my least favourite ways of cooking eggs, which admittedly I do like very much. And there's worse to come! I added in a slice of bread - Fried Bread!!!!!! What was I thinking???

I was talking to a mate on the phone this morning. It's ok, she says, it's one meal. Everyone has a crisis meal or so at least once a week. And it's true, of course it's true, it's not the end of the world. Thing is I've got a night shift coming up. What will I eat today, I thought - pasta salad I thought, I've got tuna, I've got some cold brocoli - now for the untutored among you, cold brocoli makes for one of the worlds great salad dishes, tossed in a little French dressing, add a soupcon of chopped anchovy and you have something to die for. But I'm just not entirely sure that it's the perfect ingrediant for a pasta salad. For pasta salad, you need onion, peppers, perhaps some tomato's, corn - just not really brocolli. Perhaps pasta salad and side dish of cold brocolli.

Oh lord the news is on, and it appears that Paul Gasgoine has been arrested under the mental health act. You've got to feel for that man, once so gifted and now it appears to have fallen so far. He reminds me of Icarus, his wings are melted and feathers float after him - he even, no doubt, has the Sun in hot pursuit. I was watching Mock the Week a few days ago, a repeat I think and someone said that Manchester United plan to release Wayne Rooney back to the wild after his career ends, and it was all haa haa hee hee at the time - you've got to admit it's a clever remark, but I hope to God that he's got a bit more sense in his head and makes a few plans for his retirement. It's a terrible thing to watch the mighty fall, and to somehow feel that one has a personal responsibility in it all - even though I've never had anything to do with these people, I too have watched and enjoyed their skills and abilities. I don't want to see them in the gutter and destroyed as relatively young men. It must be apalling to be so gifted, and to have such a short time in the sun.

Tuesday 19th February

Well, foodwise I haven't been doing too badly, but I can't say I've noticed weight just flying off. Nevertheless, I've been eating much better than normal, good meals with varied ingrediants, so perhaps I'll stick with it for a while, before despairing and going to seek out a weight loss club. I hate these places with a passion, so having to go to one feels like an admission of defeat. Last nights meal was pork chop with a rosemary and garlic paste rub - I crushed up dried rosemary, with a dash of rock salt and a clove of garlic, rubbed it all over about twenty minutes before I popped it into the oven. I cooked it dry, without any fat, and it had all the fat cut off it, and I admit I overcooked it a bit. I needed to set the timer for a good 10 minutes before I got it out of the oven - it was rather dry. I had it with baked pototo, which was very nice. I've got another chop in the fridge, so I've got to think of what I can do with this for tonight. I'm rather tempted to think of how to curry it, for some reason I've been feeling addicted to curry recently. Can't think why, beyond the fact it's been extremely cold out!
So how would one curry a chop? I think rather than going for some super acurate curry type recipe, it's perhaps best to go down the British adaptation route. Since last night's chop was so dry, why not do it in a curry sauce? I could start off with onions, add spices and perhaps a good squirt of tomato paste, and some natural yoghurt. Curry sauce is a distinctive British tradition, that for the most part ends up being slopped over chips. It's a big part of the day out to the seaside! A bit like if you're north of the border, there is what I assumed was a myth of a deep fried Mars Bar - some myth that. I was astonished to see, on my first visit to a Glasgow Chippy, not only deep fried Mars Bar, but deep fried pizza. They fold it in half, dip it in batter, and deep fry it. I've never eaten any of these things, I'm afraid that as food I find them rather unpleasant ideas, but as a sociological item, you can only say wow, people really eat that? One place I went to had more or less the entire contents of a sweet shop counter waiting ready to be deep fried. On the cooking level, they work very well I've been told. The chocolate melts and the batter is crisp - it's all supposed to be very yummy.
Oh dear, anyone reading this is going to know I'm trying to reduce. I haven't had chocolate now for about a week, and I'm begining to fantasise about it a bit. Time to indulge in a small bar I think before I go mad and end up buying a six pack of Creme Eggs or something equally horrifying. Happily lunch is in the fridge, a lovely half pot of olive homous, with some really nice wholemeal bread.

So away from the food motif.. I've not really been doing much. I've got an Amazon packet that's gone missing and have to (yet again) contact the local sorting office before they'll replace it - trying to speak to someone at that place is like attempting to contact persons from beyond the grave. It's like my challenge for the week. And since I don't have any sort of parcel details if I do get hold of anyone, they're basically just going to laugh about it. What a business eh? I wish the mail would just go ahead and modernise themselves properly, like every other industry in the country. It's infuriating to have to deal with them!

Wednesday 6th Feburary

My but that steamed chicken was delicious last night. I had it with the boiled potato's I mentioned, but sweetcorn rather than leeks - I put the rest of the can into the mixture. Essentially, after the chicken had cooled, I skinned it, and took all the meat off the bone, and sieved the stock removing all of the 'bits' - I put most of the meat into the stock, along with the corn, and some beans, and the excess potato, diced, and then, covered with clingfilm, put it into the fridge overnight. One huge advantage of this, is that this morning, it had all set to a jelly. This makes taking off the fat a simple matter of skimming over the top with a spoon. This is a photo of the mixture whilst I was doing that.

It's quite a bland mixture at this point. Anyhow I added more beans - lovely red kidney beans, and borlotti beans, which have a meatiness and solidity to them that I love. Raw of course, they also have the most beautiful skins, but they loose that in the cooking, which is a huge shame.

Anyhow, I put a few spoonfuls into the pan, and heated it up this evening - I wanted to eat before the England game starts! - and whilst I was waiting for it to heat through thoroughally, I stoned a bowl full of cherries. I reckon this makes for just about a perfect meal for anyone tryiing to loose weight - virtually fat free soup, packed full of fibre, and fresh fruit. Who could ask for more?

Tuesday 5th February 2008

Right, last night I said I couldn't think about what to do for food today. Today, I've been to the old Sainsbury's, and done a bit of shopping - I'm pretty broke right now even though it's not that long after pay day - blame it on the council tax! Anyhow, when I go to do a bit of shopping, I've got to be thinking, what am I going to buy that I'm going to get good value out of , as well as being a bit on the low fat side, and non-fattening.

So I went for chicken. Frankly, I think it's the best value for money that you can get, because you can do so much with it, and it goes so far. Ordinarily, I'd roast a chicken, have it cold the next day, and maybe make a soup, and I'm going to be doing pretty much that now, but instead of roasting it, I'm going to be steaming it. But not your average steamed bird!

I wanted to give it a bit more flavour. So in the base of the pan, I chopped up a lemon that I used half of for the dressing on the salad I made the other day. I chopped an onion into two big pieces, so the chicken can sit on these and be lifted above the water/stock at the bottom of the pan. I've also added a good handfull of lentils - green puy lentils, because by the time I come to use the stock, these will more or less have dissolved, and really added flavour to it. Make sure you've washed the lentils and picked them over in case you've got some small stones and detritus in there. Frankly in my opinion, you can't go wrong by adding puy lentils to just about any meat dish. I think they enhance the umami flavour which is the new flavour type they discovered a few years ago, in addition to the salt, sour, sweet etc. And no, I don't know why they called it umami, and I just hope I've got the spelling right!

Anyhow, on top of these very basic items, I've also added a good piece of mace - this is the lacy 'shell' of a nutmeg, and an excellent spice in it's own right. It's there in the midst of your Christmas spice mix, but it's very good just chucked in a pot for a little extra 'something'. I added a couple of cloves of garlic, and a couple of bayleaves, and on top of this, I did add a stock cube. It's a vegetable stock cube, but I'm a real woman here for heavens sake, I haven't got time to make a stock on top of all this! Then, I noticed the remains of some fresh thyme that I bought a week or so back, and has basically dried out in the kitchen. So I chucked a couple of - well, almost twigs, in. So this is what it looks like at that point.

At this point, you add a couple of inches of boiled water from the kettle.

You then wash your chicken. I can't stress this too much, give the chuck a good wash in cold water, inside and out. Pop the washed bird on the top of the onion pieces.

At this point, I refill the kettle in case the water needs to be topped up at any point during the cooking period. Put a good tight lid on, and stick a timer on - it'll need to be steamed, over a low heat on the top of the oven, for a good hour and a half, to two hours. At one and a half you can have a check to see if it's done but sticking a skewer into the most meaty part of the bird, and checking to see the juices run clear. Alternatively, you can wait until the bird appears to be falling apart - it's certainly done at this point, and for the soup later on, this is a good point to reach, as you'll almost certainly have got some of the marrow like additions to the stock.

Anyhow, here is my pot ready to start off steaming!

Don't you love my ladybird timer? He's magnetic too! I got him from the tourist information shop in Bath last year, completely by accident, because my last one had just broken (it fell totally apart!) and I was taking my brother David in to get some books on hotels. Whilst he scoured the shelves, I was browsing the tat (and hellishly expensive tat they have in these places) and there he was.He was a bit more than I'd normally pay for a timer, but he's bright and cheerful, so I didn't mind!

Anyhow, I have to say as soon as it started steaming, the flat's been full of the most lovely scent. It's the thyme mostly, but it's really lovely. I'll have it plain tonight, with some boiled potato's and leeks I've got in the fridge, but tomorrow I'm going to have a go at replicating the lovely tuna salad I had from M&S the other day - only with chicken. If I remember, I'll photograph it along the way and put up the recipe. Anyhow, the above is way better than your standard boiled or steamed bird!

Monday 4th February

Yes I know I promised to blog every day.. but you know how it is. One makes these wild promises! Anyhow, I'm not doing too badly with the 'I will not overeat' diet. Yesterday I bought nearly all of my food from M & S, I was doing the third of three 1 - 9 shifts, and frankly couldn't be bothered to cook at home. So I had a healthy prawn mayo sandwich for lunch, and one of their fabulous tuna bean and rice salads for supper - with a fruit smoothie too, and for tea one of their lovely fresh yoghurts with fruit puree. It was a day of eating luxuriously...

Today, I got myself up to make dinner and supper because I was doing a 4 - 9, and consequently had the time. I made a tuna pasta salad, with an avocado, and cucumber - with a dressing of half a lemon juice, a little oil, plenty of black pepper - yum. It was even better when I got home after work, because all the dressing had been absorbed by the pasta - just delish.

I haven't even thought of what to eat tomorrow - and I'm not going to start now. I'll get round to it tomorrow!  But I must say so far I have pretty well successfully fought off the impulses towards cake and biscuit, and even chocolate. As I think I've said before, it's not a total ban, and I'm not going to get precious about it - if I do that, I'll crack, leap out of the house and splurge on an extra large bar of the stuff or something. A whole box of cream cakes - you know what it's like when you say, no, never again. So for instance with my afternoon cup of tea at work today, I did have a single wholemeal chocolate digestive. Very nice it was too, a bit of a treat. But I did only have the one, despite the fact there was more there had I wanted it. I'm not going to say I didn't want it - but I wasn't hungry which I think isn't a bad way to be going.  And it's definitely the way to go, to have something waiting ready. Nine o'clock is too late to start cooking, and it's far too tempting to nip into the Burgerking. I need to have something waiting in the fridge either needing to be heated up, or to eat cold, but something I want to eat.  So on that thought, I'll be back tomorrow to update...