Monday 29th March

Might be April in a week, but right now there's an inch of wet snow accumulating outside, and I've had to put the heating on. Yuck. More snow to come too if the weather forecasts are right.
So... uni. Up until about 5 pm I've been working like a mad thing on my gender essay, and up until say what 4.55, I've was pretty happy with it, I was thinking well I'll read it through again and then.. if I feel ok, I'll upload it. Then - via Facebook of all things, a sort of rumour come info from friends suggested there was a mass extension on the cards - checked my uni email account, and yep, the deadline's been extended until Friday. So much for having worked like a dog across the weekend! The worst thing about this is essentially I could tear the whole thing up and start again - no... please no, or I can spend the rest of the week ruining what I already have by taking out snippets and adding bits to it.
Actually what I'm going to do is to take a day off from it, and construct myself another passage which I think has relevence on the Beguines. So it will all be to the good, particularly the bit about getting away from it. I'll be fresh and can look at what I've written with clear eyes. Or so I hope at any rate.
As for the presentation, under the circumstances I feel it went as well as could be expected. These blasted powerpoint things basically just serve to distract you - mine came up without the forward and back arrows on it, or at least I couldn't see the forward and back arrows, which feels a great deal more likely. I was standing looking down at a laptop screen, and it was all a bit hazy. Which actually reminds me, I'm supposed to be going for another eye test soon. But anyhow there were no arrows, I got lost in the slides, and what happens, I lost god knows how long out of my time slot trying to get back to where I had formerly been. A presentation that ran bang to the dot of ten minutes every time I'd been through it at home had to be jettisoned wildly, and I just sort of ran through to the end. However, I didn't get a mad surge feeling of panic, which I hope showed, although I was furious about it. And thinking back to it now, I probably should have said something to Mark about it, the fact I couldn't see these wretched arrows probably would count for something. But I ain't the type to go begging for credit or anything much, beyond perhaps castigating most of what I do as being 'wrong' 'bad' or whatever. In fact I do this so much that I feel it's about time I stopped. I think the proposal is sound, and it'll stand or fall on that basically. Besides, I have a feeling that the real key to the whole thing is the dissertation itself.