Saturday - I think it's Saturday!!!

Yes, well, now I know I'm back at work - did my first night shift since my return, and I must say that it's left me feeling a lot more tired than I remember being! I slept reasonably well when I got home, but I've been feeling hungry all day - night shifts really seem to knock eating patterns for six. But I've had enough of going on about food for now and don't intend to let loose on that one again for a while!

However in my semi-conscious haze, I've just been watching some dreadful programe on Channel 4. It was called Queen Camilla, and it's very hard to tell what exactly the objective of this was - to warn us that there's a Prince of Wales organised campaign to persuade us that she should become queen, complete with eulogies from 'friends'. Either that, or an expose of this 'campaign' complete with personal reminders of exactly why we shouldn't be falling for it. This programme went so far as to suggest that Camilla 'vetted' Diana, and pushed her forward as the ideal candidate for him to marry. This was done, the programme suggested, 'in the interersts of the monarchy', as well as in her own interests, as Camilla 'felt' that Diana was so young and so innocent a person as to allow her to continue her own role in Charles' life with no obstruction. It also went on to suggest that it was already known that Charles would not be able to 'cope' with marriage - dear God, if he couldn't cope with it, why in the name of God did he ever marry the girl? More than that, just suspend your disbelief for a moment, and pretend that this might actually be true. It posits Camilla as some sort of eminance grise behind Charles, one who picked out a young and vulnerable girl, as a form of disposable figurehead. And this person, someone capable of doing such a thing, is considered fit to be a princess consort, let alone a Queen???

Ok, so assume position two, that this is a figment of someone's imagination, and not at all true. This appears to be the position of the 'pro-Camilla as Queen' Campaign, and that she is as much a victim of circumstances as Diana was, one who has a happy ending to her fairy story, and who will be a silent and appeasing, non-controversial figure happy to assume a supporting role in Charles' life. In this version, Camilla is essential to Charles' happiness, and in fact plays a mediative role, smoothing over the worst excesses of our 'Prince', the one who has no problem with elites, and who presumably plots coups d'etat amidst the plant houses. The problem with this is that if you accept this, then you have to assume that Charles is indeed some kind of personal monster, a highly dangerous figure who has to have this woman to control his outbursts and opinions when he is destined for a constitutional position where he is not supposed to have any. This petulant creature marries an innocent (and remember she's an eighteen year old girl, whatever Diana became at the time of the marriage you could not doubt that that child was an innocent) and then discards her when the life he's forced her into turns her into the creature that she was at the time of the divorce.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter which of these takes on the stories you believe. They're as bad as each other. Both of them have only one salient point to them - in both versions, Charles is unfit for the throne. This whole business about whether Camilla will or will not become Queen is an irrelevancy, when the relevant question is Is Charles Fit To Be King. Bear in mind that this is a man who has to have someone to put the toothpaste on his toothbrush and God only knows whatever else. In this day and age, can we really put up with these anachronisms any longer? We should have an act of parliament passed now, quickly before it becomes an issue, to say that when the present Queen passes on, that the monarchy will be removed from any constitutional position. People keep on saying how much of an asset they are to the tourist industry. Fine, let's have them out there every day, dressed up to the nines, riding in a carriage up and down the Mall. We could have coronation re-enactments every Wednesday between 11 - 2. There could be a lottery you could enter to take on the role of Archbish of Cantab, or carry Camilla's skirt. In fact, we could franchise them out to Disney, and that'd save us the tax contribution. Just make absolutely sure that the crown jewels go off to the treasury, and not into someone's suitcase.